We have entered the difficult phase of this operation! Silly me, I was thinking we'd skip that part; Nolan quickly brought me back to reality.
Nolan has been very challenging over the past couple of weeks, those of you who have adopted before know exactly what I mean. Mood swings, swift and drastic. I know he must be experiencing anger, sadness, and confusion over this mysterious change that has taken place in his life. Imagine that all of the sudden everything you know and are familiar with is gone and you are in a strange place with strange people (no smart comments please- you know what I mean!). And there is no one you trust to help you understand what is happening. I spend much of my time reminding myself to look at this from Nolan's point of view so that I can continue to be patient and understanding.
We are still struggling to handle Nolan's behavior, specifically temper tantrums. The difficult part of handling these particular issues is that Nolan is not wired the same as children who have been home from the very beginning of their lives. Security is not a given and that changes the whole game.
The days are mostly LONG right now and sometimes I may not even get a smile out of him all day. He whines way more than I'd like and falls apart when the tiniest thing doesn't go as he thinks it should. We have noticed some slight sensory issues and will be having him evaluated for Occupational Therapy. Often children who have been in an orphanage from the beginning have difficulty processing emotions and senses (noises, textures, etc.) caused by lack of stimulation and human connections early on.
I am so thankful to know for certain that God had this planned all along. I find peace in that because it gives me certainty that we have done the right thing even when I doubt myself and wonder if I was the best choice for Nolan's Mama.
All that to say, we are still so completely in awe of this funny little guy. Amidst the struggles he continues to be such a blessing and wonderful part of our family.
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4 comments:
Hang in there! We didn't have any of these issues with our daughter that we adopted from China, but we DID have some very "trying" times with our son that we adopted from Russia! Maybe it's a "boy" thing!
I don't know, but....you're right about one thing - the good Lord has put him where he belongs!
How is he getting along with the other kids?!!
Erin
I can't think of a better place for Nolan to be! Hang in there, Janis! You guys have opened up your family and are going to make such a huge difference in Nolan's life...awesome!I am praying for you!
What a great post. Honest and full of love. I need to be reminded of this too so I can be prepared.
Keep hangin in there, you are doing great. I am coming to you when this happens to me!!
I am praying for you...God Bless you beautiful family!!
Big hugs to you!!!
My heart goes out to both you and Nolan - I can only imagine how frustrating it is for both of you. But, I KNOW the Lord has Nolan with the family that He meant for him to be with. I believe this is all just part of the process and once you are through it you will all be stronger for it (and will have a closer relationship with Nolan too!). I'll keep praying for you!
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